may inputs + things i bought
i'm moving again and it's the saddest thing in the world
I’ve been—and will continue to be—deep in my feelings about leaving Providence at the end of this month. Our apartment is in boxes again, and for the eleventh time since graduating college in 2014, I’m going to make a new place into a home. The transience has taken a toll over the years, and I’m looking forward to hopefully staying put after this move (I have good reason to hope; thank you to tenure-track jobs). By the time I send my next issue of this newsletter out, I might already be there, so I’m appreciating the last bit of this place I’ve come to love so much over the last year.
What I’ll miss: The view from my balcony at sunset, the way it is as I’m writing this right now. The oysters. The intense pride people have of this tiny state. Running into a friend or an acquaintance every time I leave the house. The sound of the rain on the roof in the bedroom. The drivers, who are surprisingly nice (and the nicest I’ve seen on the East Coast!) The bunnies. And the stray cats on my block. RiffRaff. Easy access to the beach. All the food. All the people.
What I won’t miss: The highways (why are there so many highways here?!). Expensive rent. Northern hospitality. The winter. The moths in our apartment. Neighbors who are committed to not saying hi. The mud puddle in our parking lot that gets deeper every time it rains. Transience.
Things I Made
I made so many things in the month of May that continue to be classified for a little while longer. At least one will be revealed in June, and then more in July 👀
However, I can share this wonderful photoshoot I did with Katie O’Rourke here in Providence:
Things I’m Digesting
I finally saw Nickel Boys, which was exciting for two reasons: first, because it’s a brilliant, gutting, and inventive film, and second, because it was written and directed by my landlord. This is a hilarious coincidence to me, and I felt it was only right to finally watch it in our (his?) apartment before we moved out.
Way on the other end of the cultural spectrum, I have also been obsessed with van lifers the last few weeks. It might be because I’ve been contending with the material reality of moving a lifetime’s worth of possessions across state lines. I find myself fantasizing about living a life where everything I own can be contained in a cleverly-designed Sprinter van and I sleep on residential streets and in national parks. I don’t actually want this, but imagining it soothes my brain during this stressful time.
My Documents by Kevin Nguyen
I enjoyed this so much, which is kind of weird to say because it’s a novel about Vietnamese Americans being incarcerated in the United States the way the Japanese were. But it was surprisingly funny and I felt particularly owned as a Wasian woman who worked at BuzzFeed early in Trump 1 at the same time I was figuring out how I felt about my own racial identity. There were parts where I wanted to yell “who was your source!!!” As if the dramas of being a cringey Wasian in 2017 are a complicated or particularly nuanced experience to depict. But still!
Theory & Practice by Michelle de Kretser
This book goes so hard!!!!! It’s about a Sri Lankan grad student in Australia in the 80s who is writing her thesis about Virginia Woolf. She loves Virginia Woolf; she has a poster of her tacked up on her wall and she calls her the Woolfmother, which I love. But during her research, she discovers something Woolf wrote in her diaries that betrays her racism and it totally shifts the way she can engage with the work. I want to read it again immediately.
Captive Audience by Lucas Mann
We bought books by all of our friends in Providence so we would always have them on our shelves and I finally got to read this. I am not even biased because he’s a friend: this is so, so, so good! The essays are smart, critical readings about reality TV that don’t feel like they’re self-consciously doing the “high-low” thing, but what I enjoyed more were the personal parts. Lucas writes about the gooey parts of himself—the shame, the loving, the still-unfolding—with a clear-eyed honesty and tenderness that stunned me.
Things I Bought
I actually just went right out and bought a few things this month to prepare for the warm months, all from Uniqlo:
Purchased grand total for 2025 so far: 9 articles of clothing, 3 accessories.
I hadn't heard of any of these books but they've gone on my list immediately, thank you 🫡
no WAY! your landlord is THE ramell ross